Breakthrough
by MidnightxBluexBlack
Summary: What is a smile? He realized, suddenly, that he didn't know the answer. Fai ponders the meaning of a smile. Spoilers for the Acid Tokyo Arc. Oneshot.


Summary: _"'What is a smile?'_ He didn't know, he suddenly realized in an instant."

Spoilers from the Acid Tokyo Arc and on. Like, from Chapters 124 and on...

I don't own _Tsubasa Chronicles_.

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'What is a smile?'

'_What a silly question. That answer's obvious, _Kurogane_. A smile is an expression that graces the features of others, in order to signify someone's joy or pleasure.' _

'_But then, if that's what a smile is, why don't you use it that way?'_

He sighed as he replayed that conversation to himself once again: _'What is a smile?' _

Reaching, slim fingers swept blonde tresses out of a pale face, the tips of the extremities brushing against the soft fabric of a black eye patch, secured across where the left eye should have been. _Should_ have been.

The mage sighed once more; that single action had been the main attraction of the majority of his evening. After escaping from Kurogane once again, Fai had retreated to his room, where he had remained. Currently, he sat on the hardwood floor of the inn that the threesome were currently staying at. Well, foursome, if you counted Sakura's body. Fivesome if you counted Mokona, who shared a room with whoever pleased him anyway.

On the hardwood floor, Fai sat, the back of his head leaning against the cold wall behind him, light blonde hair brushing against homely wallpaper behind him. His remaining eye was closed, and the mage could easily have passed for asleep; a look that easily belied the way his mind was once again running in all directions.

'_What is a smile?' _

Of course, a smile was something pure. Anyone could smile. His favorites had been those of Sakura's, up until recently. She always smiled so innocently, and sometimes, the smallest things could bring the gesture to her lips in such a way that the action became contagious and spread throughout the area, lighting up upon everyone's faces, like candles.

He also enjoyed the smiles of children. Those smiles did not yet know of the pain the world had to offer. While naïve, they were also blameless, untouched as of yet, by the horror of life. He had always felt that the smiles of children ought to be protected above anything else.

But that didn't answer the question. _'What is a smile?' _Another sigh, and a single, crystal blue eye opened.

'_A smile is…'_

'_A smile is…'_

He didn't know, he suddenly realized. In an instant, Kurogane's question took to a new light. Fai set upon himself now, to find that answer. He racked his brain.

When Sakura-chan smiled, the whole world seemed to light up. When a child smiled, all of the hatred and deceit of adults appeared to vanish. But what was a smile?

His whole life, Fai had not understood the action. It made him happy to see it, but for some reason, he had never been able to do so himself. He never had felt that he was incapable of doing so, it was just that, he didn't know how.

Ever since the day in Celes Country, when King Ashura had told him that, in order to heal, first he must smile, Fai had been smiling. However, according to Kurogane, Fai's smiles were fake. It was a clandestine feature to the mage that made the ninja loathe to even look the magician in the face half the time.

'_It's painful.'_

Kurogane had said that. "Do my smiles hurt?" Fai wondered, speaking aloud, his voice soft, despite the fact that he thought he was alone.

"They do," a gruff response from the doorway as the black clad ninja that was currently haunting Fai's thoughts entered the room, his long strides quickly bringing him adjacent to the sitting mage. "But what do they hurt the most? You, or those who must look at them, is what you should be wondering."

Fai was quiet, and out of crimson eyes, Kurogane watched him. He wondered what kind of gyros and gears were turning in the magician's head at this moment.

Fai, however, was once again hit with new realization. He remembered the conversation with Ashura now. He had wondered why he couldn't use healing magic. Ashura had told him that all he needed to do was smile. Sakura-chan's smiles made him feel happy, almost as if they could heal a little bit of the pain in his heart. Fai's fake smiles were no good. He was only hiding behind them, using the gesture to make others blind to his pain, as a tool to keep him separated from everyone around him. Fai used his smiles to build an impenetrable wall around himself that he wouldn't allow anyone to break through, no matter how hard they tried. He used his smiles to remain in isolation. He took everything and gave nothing with his smiles. They only hurt. No matter how you looked at it, Fai's smiles were painful.

But that brought it all back to the original question: What is a smile.

"A smile is…" the mage trailed off once again, his soft voice barely even coming above that of a whisper. His hair fell around his face, framing the small, pale portrait, hiding it from view. He thought of a lot of things in that moment. He thought of Sakura-chan's smiles, he thought of small grins that lovers sometimes share, the smile and laughter of a child who is playing with his parents or pet, the way Kurogane smiled sometimes when he watched the children together.

Finally, he looked up, blonde tresses falling away from his features, once again revealing a clear blue eye.

Kurogane stared. Resting upon the mage's face was a smile. Nothing fake, nothing borrowed. It wasn't a toothy grin, or the mask that Fai had grown so fond of using. His lips were curved upward in a simple line. It wasn't anything special, but it was a start.

He wasn't hiding behind a false sense of happiness anymore, but at the same time, the inherent gloom that had been haunting the magician for the past few weeks seemed to have lifted. For the first time, Kurogane felt as thought he was looking at the real Fai.

After a moment, Fai opened his mouth to speak, the gesture still gracing his soft features.

"_This_ is a smile, silly Kuro-rin."

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Thanks for reading.

Critisism and comments are appreciated.

Sincerely,

MidnightxBluexBlack


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